Bolin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) pabugotmoves) wrote2021-09-06 08:01 pm
pabugotmoves) wrote2021-09-06 08:01 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) pabugotmoves) wrote2021-09-06 08:01 pm
pabugotmoves) wrote2021-09-06 08:01 pmEntry tags:
Deer Country IC Inbox

Huh? Oh-- You've reached Bolin!
Yeah, I'm a pretty busy guy but leave me a message and I'll beep you back
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png) pabugotmoves) wrote2021-09-06 08:01 pm
pabugotmoves) wrote2021-09-06 08:01 pm
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Lance probably was too.
Does he even like boys? Did he just tell himself he should? We’re any of these feelings he’s been having real or did he just decide it’s something he should do?
Maybe it’s all a lie. Maybe he is the lie. Maybe he’s the same dumb second fiddle he’s always been- Wu is talking, what did he say? Crap, he wasn’t listening- just agree.]
What? No, no I know. You’re right. I’m just being being stupid. Classic Bolin!
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[ Wu should drop it. He should drop it because clearly Bolin wants to drop it, but that's how he gets into problems. He lets things slide to be liked. But he doesn't want to be that anymore. So, even if it's uncomfortable, he's going to try: ]
I'm not saying you're stupid. You just, maybe you have some messed up thoughts about relationships! And that's not stupid. But, I think that thinking differently about them might be good for you.
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The second one makes more sense whilst upset but it just isn’t his style, and he’d only end up hurting their friendship. Wu doesn’t deserve that, he cares. Wu genuinely cares about him and that’s just not how you treat a friend.
Spirits know Bolin has done enough damage to his family lately.
He takes a long, slow breath and looks back up at the ceiling.]
I’m really embarrassed.
How do I think differently about relationships when the way I do think is wrong? How do I trust anything I think?
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Buddy, I don't think any different about you. I promise. Not knowing something is the first step to knowing something!
It's a really good question. I... don't really know? Which isn't helpful. But I do know that you're a great guy who deserves a great guy or gal, one who really likes you for you. But I guess... I guess it's good to ask? Ask what they mean by it if they're not clear. Like with Lance, you could ask what that kiss meant. Or with Ryan, you could ask what being stage boyfriends means, although, I can't promise that Ryan would answer that in a way that makes it any less confusing--
But you can also ask me! Or Mako. I wish I'd known what you thought about stage boyfriends, I honestly thought you were joking around, too! I'm sorry about that, buddy, I should have been looking out for you better.
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[He looks back over, brows knit.]
I know it’s Mako’s thing but you don’t have to make it yours. Unless you mean in the friend way where we all look out for each other.
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[ Boy is he frustrating. Wu turns to him with a flat expression ]
Yes in a friend way! You look out for me. I know you do. So let me do that, too. And Ryan is my friend, and he's kind of a jerk, so I should have seen this all-- this.
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He is feeling all kinds of ways and honestly? A little blindsided. He just wanted to gossip about Mako and Wu being happy and now it’s all about him and his poor relationship with… relationships.]
Sorry, I’m sorry. No hackles, okay? I just don’t like feeling like I’m a burden.
Just, listen, [as he rolls back onto his side and rests his free hand on Wu. Whatever is closest. Arm? Shoulder blade? He needs to recap and diffuse.]
I really appreciate that you care. I’m trying not to be defensive, I agree with everything you’re saying. I have no idea what I’m doing and I need to get better at seeing these things sooner. I want to. I promise. I guess I have some work to do on knowing my boundaries, huh.
The last thing I want is you feeling like this is your fault or even Ryan’s when it’s mine.
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That's just it! Knowing your boundaries. And I know, I know it's not my fault, but it still doesn't mean I can't look out for you!
[ And he's going to tell Ryan he was being an asshole, for good measure ]
I don't want you to get hurt if I can help it.
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..which sounds pathetic but I mean it like it’s a good thing right now. Never mind. Im gonna cry that out later.
The point is, that I will be okay. I’ve probably been overreacting about this whole.. dudes.. and me.. thing, all of it. You know? I’m just gonna let it go and move on.
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You'll figure it out! I know you will.
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When he speaks next, it’s soft and warm, if not a little emotional.]
Thank you. I know I will. Thank you for being here.
[Helps when you have so much good support.
A beat. Then two.]
Do you wanna watch something?
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[ Easier than talking and, really, he's here to see Bolin's place. A normal thing to do, a thing he can do without trying to pry into Bolin's insecurities.
He lets Bolin go with another little smile, and settles in to watch something on their Omnis. ]